Farewell! But Not Goodbye...

My dear Allison...

There is so much more to reminisce on and so many other entries that I could write on this blog for you. I'm sure you noticed that I didn't write about things like Sicily or my farewell party, for example, because it would literally be impossible to do it. I tried, trust me, and I just could not capture all I wanted to in a single entry! I could've kept this blog going forever but it was supposed to be your farewell surprise from me as I left New York. I'm really sorry I couldn't finish it until after I was gone. I worked hard to make it ready for you to see on the day I left for the airport but my schedule just got so packed toward the end of my time in the city. I'm so sorry you didn't have a gift to "open" when I left but know that I was working the best I could to get it finished.

Despite the delay, it has been such a joy for me to make this little blog for you. I really couldn't have imagined the spectacular evening that my farewell party would be before starting this and part of me just knows I could never live up to an ounce of your creativity. I thought I was all sly and sneaky making something like this for you and, low and behold, you create the most gorgeous memory book for me and throw a party that goes down in history as one of the best nights in my life. The one really fun thing is that you and I had the same idea of doing something with memories for one another and that makes me smile. Hig 'n Hog, on the same wavelength. :)

Going back in time, both in my head and through photos, has been like a journey in itself for me. I've reflected on so many of the things that have made my life so full for over 6 years and I sometimes don't understand why god has chosen to bless me so much. I have everything I could ever need and ask for, truly. Life is (and has been, even when I didn't realize it) a sincere joy as I've grown older and I've gotten to do that alongside of you!

The way our lives have connected over the years is proof to me that, all along, there has been a bigger and better plan. A plan that has led us both down winding roads, through painful obstacles at times and to a place where we walk together on the journey of life. It's such a gift to me to call you my sister and, even deeper than that, my best friend. We have a special relationship that is so not guaranteed as sisters. I think at this point in my life, I realize that more than anything else and I understand that we put the proper amount of time and effort into our relationship to have it grow at a healthy and organic pace. That has allowed us to become vulnerable when we need to be, pick each other up when we're feeling down and to be the kind of rock in each other's lives that helps keep us moving forward, stronger and better as individuals.

If I look at the less serious side, it's just so much fun to think about the laughter we've shared for many years, not just our time in New York. Yes, living in the Big Apple together has been a huge majority of our fun, but there is so much to think back on when we first started becoming close that literally makes me laugh out loud sometimes. We have had the best time together, Allison. So much so that I have often (and still do sometimes with Bryan!) measured even my dating relationships to the kind of connection we share. I actually had to come to the conclusion that what I have with you is my own, unique, rare relationship that I could only ever have, and want to have, with my sister. Nobody else on earth will be able to enjoy life the way that you and I do together and, you know what? I don't want it any other way. Most of the time here in Italy, even though I haven't been here that long, I think only of you and how much you would die over certain things. I love that feeling of knowing that you and I share something that I won't ever with anyone else and I cherish it! I think that's just the way it's supposed to be. :)

As I have taken the very big step to move forward with my culinary dream, I think back to all of the phases of life that you've seen me through. You have been by my side through so many levels of emotional growth - and stunt, at times - and you have never ceased to believe in me. You've believed in me far more than I ever have in myself and I think I finally see a little in myself of what you've seen all along. Growing pains, man...they are painful but so worth it in the end.

There's not a part of me that could ever express the gratitude I feel for who you are to me. You make me a better woman and you are the one person that I can always - and I mean always - lean on. I will never cease to be grateful to god for his divine orchestration of a relationship that I am so sure of. I never doubt where we've been, where we are or where we're going...together. To end a chapter and season of life pains my heart in ways that it doesn't most others. I am attached so deeply to the people in my life that I love and it breaks my heart to say goodbye. Especially to you.

I know that this is a new season that is going to be amazing. I don't doubt that. I only wish I could take you along for the ride. Once I got onto the plane heading to Milan, I finally broke down. All of the stress, anxiety, unknown, fear, nerves, uncertainty - whatever else you'd like to add to the list - came pouring out. I had (and have continued to have) a sort of revelation about myself and, for the very first time, I started to understand that it's time to let go. It's time for me to look back on my sweet, rich life in New York and to sort of say a goodbye to it in a very intimate way. I've taken care of a lot of other people in my life for a long time. I've been present, (pro)active, engaged, sincere and very serious about being someone that people can count on and someone that attempts to pursue greatness in all areas of my life. I don't think I realized just how much of myself I have extended over the years because, all of a sudden, I wondered where most of me had gone. On that flight to Italy, and in the days since, I have come to see that I have lost myself almost fully to a life devoted to everyone else. It's so very hard to explain this in writing - it's such a terrace/wine night kind of conversation - but I guess I came to understand that I have to say goodbye to the former Valerie and blossom into the new Valerie - still the same gal - just with a few tune-ups. ;)

I'd been feeling this way in my last weeks in New York, I just didn't know it. I think that's why my farewell party was that amazing for me. Obviously, I couldn't have even scratched the surface of understanding how special the night would be but, much like on marathon day, I just watched YOU be the star of the night, not me. I saw you come alive, making things so wonderfully perfect (I really mean that) and putting your heart out there for every single person to see. It made me so proud of who you have become. You are an amazing woman with so much to offer and give. I really could never thank you enough for making me feel so loved and SO supported. Allison, you are a beautiful, sparkling gem. You're rare and defined and intricate and so special. I don't know if you'll ever understand the extent of how happy I am that you're in my life.

That last afternoon in New York at Cilantro just about killed me. I'm so happy we went there, though. It was both needed and necessary, right? I kinda think the incident with the douche cab driver diffused a very sad situation too when I was off to the airport. Now that I finally did leave, it's a little easier to stomach but I miss you each and every day. With all of this said, I am just going to tell you that I love you so very much, Allison. New York has been the best time of my life and it's really because we shared it together. From 2006...:

...to 2012...:

...we have lived some life, yo. It's been one hell of a ride. I can't wait for the next chapter to begin! I guess it already has but I think I need to be back in the states before it really feels like I'm not on vacation instead. ;)

I love you, Hog. So much. I leave you with very wise words from the man himself to sum up just how we've lived life together so far and how I hope we always will:

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it. You better never let it go...

Hittin' The Beach

Brigantine holds such a part of my heart and I was ecstatic that we finally made plans to go. I wish so much that we'd made that a tradition each summer but I'll take what I can get.

Meeting new friends isn't something we've had to worry a lot with during our time in New York which is such an incredible thing when you think about. We've talked a trillion times about the wonderful people in our lives and how extremely lucky we are to have them. I know that we're both open minded, always, to new things but we haven't 'needed' to find new friends because we've been that blessed. After struggling deeply with dealing with Diane each day at work, it was like angels were singing when Rachel got hired. I couldn't have known that we'd grow a friendship with her, and then Suzanne, and find two new friends that will be in our lives forever. I wouldn't have wanted any other people to join me that weekend in Brigantine and I mean that sincerely.

I love to look at these photos because it brings me right back to such a fun weekend together. Getting to show you the places I've been to many times and where so many memories have taken place was SO much fun for me, particularly going to Andre's for cheesesteaks:

I'm drooling right now.

Ahhh, ye olde liquor store:

While it may have been a billion degrees out, I couldn't have been happier spending the day on the beach. I was so excited to take a dip in the pool after being out there all afternoon but, welp, so much for that:

Obviously, you know how much I love dive bars so our night out at Laguna kicked ass, in my opinion:

I swear, I could go right back there immediately. There's nothing like getting out of the city and being in a place where eating lunch in a restaurant without a shirt on is basically the only way to be. 

Unsurpassed Joy

Oh boy, how do I even begin this one...?

Marathon Sunday. The single greatest day in New York City, above all. From our very first glimpse of it back in 2006, we were both affected, moved and in awe:

I know I speak for both of us in saying we'll never forget that afternoon. I think in a lot of ways, the stirring we felt was the beginning of what would be an individual running journey for both of us. A journey that would take us to one day running that very New York City Marathon. I get chills thinking about it even now. All the years we've spent supporting others would be leading us to being the stars of the show. It's amazing to me the way that life happens. I could never have dreamt that either of us would be wearing that bib so proudly and running down that exact street five years later. Wow Allison, what a feat to have accomplished.

I know I've said it a bunch but I'll never get the image out of my mind watching you start out on marathon day. Sun shining, people cheering, music playing...it was tremendous. I looked over at you and I don't think I've ever seen such joy exuding from you before. At a time where I thought I'd be the one happily encouraging you, the roles were totally reversed and it was quite unexpected for me. It was a moment I'll never forget though and one where I sort of felt like the older sister for once, watching my younger, more carefree sister bounce along the Verrazano Bridge without a care. I wish I could explain to people what it felt like to watch you accomplish something seemingly impossible for you after the struggle with your knee(s). 

I'm so glad we could start the race together and even run as long as we did side by side. I know we both want to cry not having photos along the way and, more than that, knowing we finished only minutes apart from each other. However, I think I might have taken beginning the race with one another over finishing it because it symbolized so much even crossing the start line. Hours and miles and sweat and tears brought us to that point and I almost feel that finishing on our own was the end to our personal journey. It was powerful. 

The kickoff to race day begins! This is just so exciting to look through again:

No better place on earth to carbo load:

There are no other words to express what is true, rich, full, sincere, unsurpassed joy:

Oh my goodness, do I feel elated looking back through these and thinking of race day. Allison, WE FINISHED THE NEW YORK CITY MARATHON:

There just aren't words, really. Once we finally got our asses home and showered, it was high time for the biggest and best celebration in history with the people we love most. I'll be wearing a permanent smile on my face forever because of this night:

Finishers, yeeeeeeah:

So. Much. Freaking. Fun. I can hardly stand it:

Amazing that Bryan could be there:

My wonderful Hog:

Yep, this sums up the night perfectly and I'd have it no other way:

My oh my, what a truly remarkable day and night that was. Sometimes I do wonder whether I'll be in that position again but there's plenty of time to think about that... We'll be hard pressed to find something that tops this, dude. All I know is I happily look forward to trying!

Lobsterfest

After last year's 4th of July, I'm actually sad I didn't spend more of them in New York. However, we didn't know Jeff and Suzanne before so I guess it wouldn't have mattered, ha! As I've said before, there's no way to capture all of the awesome times we've had with them but I really really loved lobsterfest. I can't believe at that point I'd never eaten a full lobster like that and now I've broken them down a bunch of times. It's like old hat, tee hee. Seriously though, I was truly shocked at how Suzanne outdid herself that night with those lobsters. It was so much fun walking in and seeing all her prep. I still feel sad seeing those guys go into the pot:

Man, I miss their place:

OOO:

She's adorable:

I swear, that was a perfect night. I can't believe I didn't eat a bite of anything but the lobster. Oh wait, I ate bread (of course) but it's still amazing that one lobster filled me up. I wish so much we could all be together again this 4th for round two of lobsterfest. This time, I'D plan the menu... ;)

Two For Two

Seriously dude, I keep trying to find ways not to say "this was the most awesome time, ever" and it's so hard! We just have too much damn fun and I ain't even complaining about it being tough to write about. Obviously, anything to do with running together is going to be at the top of my list for favorite memories. There is something so deeply special about the moments we've shared when it comes to running challenges and I will cherish these times forever.

The Brooklyn half marathon is most certainly one of the greatest days we've had. Both of us did so well on that race and I was so proud of you for hanging in there with your knees. I know it wasn't easy for you but you finished strong and fast which was so amazing. I'm nearly as proud of you for running Brooklyn as I am the marathon... That morning really started off exciting, especially given that we began it with Team Bevitori:

I should've run with my camera, boooo. At any rate, I absolutely love the finishing photos:

Yeeeeeeah:

Ok, let's really get serious for a second. There couldn't possibly have been a better celebration after the race starting right there on Coney Island. I'm not a big fan of the word but only one describes the day and night...EPIC:

The real shenanigans begin:

Hahahaha, I will love this forever:

Damn hog, that was a good day. We may not have remembered the rest of the night but we sho' know how to do it up. We really are badasses. (PS - Joel really is cute. Damn.)